Learning to Live in the Now

“Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.” Eckhart Tolle

I'm human and therefore, like everyone else, I am a flawed creature. My flaws are something that become more apparent to me as I get older, and have more life experiences. However, with the realization of these flaws comes the opportunity to change them. Change cannot began without the need for change becoming apparent. Recently I've come to the self discovery that I spend too much mental energy thinking about the past and the future. And not enough about the present. In fact, I hardly live in the present. I stress about money, my career, where I'll be living post Korea, if I'll ever get married and have kids ect....I even stress thinking about if my commitaphobia will lead me to a life as The Crazy Cat Lady 20-30 years down the line. I make the same mistakes in all my romantic, and platonic, relationships because I never relax and live in the present. This isn't healthy, in any way. How can I fix my mistakes when I don't even notice when I'm making them? How can I appreciate how great something, or someone is, if I never give them my undivided attention? If I lose my mind to the time-space continuum, dwelling on the past or stressing about the future, I'll never be truly happy.

 I read a book a few years ago called; "An Unquiet Mind", and while the content of the book was amazing, and sparked a great airplane-seatmate conversation about mental illness, the title really grabbed me and stuck with me. My mind is never quiet and I have a terrible time relaxing. I've tried yoga and meditation, but sadly neither helped. This is probably because sitting in a silent room telling yourself "Relax, relax!" isn't actually going to make you relax. Addressing the reason why you're so stressed out, and attacking it from it's foundations, will. Even if you can't change what's bothering you immediately, or anytime in the foreseeable future, at least you can change the way you deal with it.

I've never considered myself a "new-age" type of person, or the kind of person that believes in karma and good energy. Since I've started living a post college adult life I've been giving a lot more thought the power of positive thinking. I've been making a conscious decision to be more optimistic, more of a "yes" person, and to see if positive thinking/doing attracts positive things to my life. As Disney movie esq as it sounds, it works like a charm. I've attracted so many great people to my life recently. And I feel so much better now, physically and mentally. I have so much more energy and don't feel the need to sleep all the time like I used to. So, I've decided that starting now I'm going to make an honest attempt at living more in the present and trying to stay positive. Let's see how long I can last!