Change is inevitable. Growth is optional

To calm my racing mind I've turned back to blogging. It’s been a few months; a few chaotic months of stress, challenges, and unbridled happiness. Living in Korea sometimes makes me want to bash my head into a wall and scream in frustration. But the feeling fades eventually, and appreciation for my situation and surrounding creeps back to me. The feeling of isolation is ever present, but I've started to make peace with it. Making peace with you're reality, whatever that reality may be, is key to contentment, and in turn happiness. Walking down the street and seeing the same homogeneous Korean faces, faces that rarely look your way except for a few curious glances at the "foreigner", have become my reality. Last night I was at a bar in Itaewon, an area customized for tourists and foreigners, and every conversation around me was in English. It was a very strange feeling. I couldn't help but be amazed by my ability to eavesdrop. I was hearing sounds that formed words, comprehensible English words! True, I work at a school teaching English, but ESL English and casual native English are two very different animals. For the brief time that I was there I feel like I was back home, and it was nice. 

I've started to become really good at goodbyes lately. The nature of an English teacher abroad makes goodbyes a common and inevitable occurrence. I've made peace with the people in my life who are ephemeral. I'm starting to relax and live in the moment more. I've started appreciating the people in my life while I'm lucky enough to have them; instead of stressing about when they're going to leave. I've recently said goodbye to a friend who, unless a strange twist of fate deems otherwise, I will never see again. He's parting words were along the lines of, "Good luck with everything, and learn to calm down and relax." His words stuck with me because I know I'm a tense and neurotic person. I'm working on changing that, but old habits die hard.

Recently I received some disappointing news from a job I was pursuing. While it was only a temporary set back I still took it pretty hard. I think of myself as being a pretty confident person, but I'm not made of stone. My foundation can be shook, and when it does it's like an earthquake. Thankfully, while it can be shook it has yet to be cracked beyond repair. When one door closes a window opens somewhere. I just have to find it.